ECHOES THROUGH TIME

 

Slap! Right across my young, tender teenager's heart. “You are just like my mother,” his words cursed my very young soul. Condemned by my earthly father's vicious words, spoken out of his brokenness, stemming from those mother-father wounds he, too, suffered. 

Generational curses are real. My father inherited his mother’s anger and shame, alongside his father’s abandonment and rejection. In turn, I carried the burden of his mother’s alcoholism, promiscuity, anger, and shame—abandoning myself in the process. His disdain for his mother seeped into my innocent life, fostering a deep sense of self-loathing.

. 

 Those violent words my father spoke over me in his anger still echo through me at times…

I longed for my father’s love and acceptance. I longed to belong somewhere, to be wanted, cherished. 

I searched in the arms of many men, much to my shame.  The numbing effect of the drugs and alcohol lowered the inhibitions, numbed the pain, and filled the hole in my soul...but it was only a temporary fix. Honestly, sometimes I did feel wanted, loved, and like I belonged, for a moment, a week, a month, a year, or a few years. Each attempt at filling that heart-hole was like a drop in a bucket as vast as an ocean. 

Fast forward from teen years to my fiftieth year of chasing after love…I suffered yet another broken attempt, this one more devastating. The accumulation of rejection, betrayal, and denial left me hopeless and suicidal. It was then that the Holy Spirit inspired me to cry out to the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob, asking Him where His real people were, the ones that kept His commandments, the ones that loved Him…and, what is the Hebrew meaning of Your word? What does Your word really say?

One day, as I was lamenting and crying out these exact words, I asked myself, Why am I asking about the Hebrew meaning of His word? I had no idea what I was praying. It was the Holy Spirit within me leading those cries…

I looked up the Hebrew meaning of scripture and found a man teaching the Torah…unpacking His word, using Hebrew language, culture, and context. He showed the flow of the Old Testament, the Prophets, and the New Testament…

The first time I heard this Torah teacher sing the Aaronic Blessing found in the book of Numbers, something deep in my soul broke. The first time I attended a Messianic Jewish Synagogue and heard the Rabbi sing the Aaronic blessing, I came undone. 

Aaronic Blessing… echoes through time of the Father's invitation back home. Home, belonging, acceptance, and love…

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

No more chasing after people, places, and things to fill the hole in my soul. Just as He met the woman at the well, He also met me through His Father’s blessings, leading me to His Ancient Paths…

Home Coming

HOME COMING

A new moon

A new month

A new season

A new perspective

To see, to hear, to walk

The Ancient Path

No, not new, but old, ancient, a lost way

But new

New to me, to you

 Lost Sheep of Israel

“Follow Me to My Father’s House

By way of the Ancient Paths

Follow Me to My Father’s Table

To My Father’s Heart

Leading to still waters, living waters

Full of mercy and grace

Flowing from My Father’s Throne Room

Back to the Garden

By the Ancient Paths

See, Oh Israel!

Hear, Oh Israel!

Walk, Oh Israel!

In My Footsteps

 On the Ancient Paths

Follow Me home

To our  Father's House….

The Gate to Beautiful

Witnessing lives being restored through the love and care of a safe, supportive community is truly one of the most beautiful aspects of the journey to recovery.

Acts 3 2-10

A Lame Man Healed

3 Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. 2 And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to [a]ask alms from those who entered the temple; 3 who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. 4 And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” 5 So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” 7 And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. 8 So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them—walking, leaping, and praising God. 9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God. 10 Then they knew that it was he who sat begging alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

Let’s explore the word lame. 

Strong's Lexicon

pisseach: Lame

Original Word: פִסֵּחַ
Part of Speech: Adjective
Transliteration: picceach
Pronunciation: pis-say'-akh
Phonetic Spelling: (pis-say'-akh)
Definition: Lame
Meaning: lame

Word Origin: From the root פָּסַח (pasach), meaning "to limp" or "to be lame."

Corresponding Greek / Hebrew Entries: - G5560 (chōlos): This Greek word is used in the New Testament to describe someone who is lame, similar to the Hebrew "pisseach." It appears in passages such as Matthew 11:5 and Acts 3:2.

Usage: The Hebrew word "pisseach" is used to describe someone who is physically lame or crippled, often referring to a person who has difficulty walking due to a physical impairment. It is used in the context of physical disability and is sometimes metaphorically applied to describe spiritual or moral deficiency.

Cultural and Historical Background: In ancient Israelite society, physical disabilities such as lameness were often seen as significant impediments to full participation in religious and social life. The Levitical laws, for instance, had specific regulations regarding those who were physically impaired, particularly concerning their roles in temple service (Leviticus 21:18). Despite these restrictions, the Hebrew Scriptures also emphasize God's compassion and care for the disabled, as seen in various prophetic and wisdom literature.

Born with a disability—could this be the result of generational trauma? At the Gate Beautiful, he sought alms, reaching out for help. He received attention from the disciples —not money, but genuine attention. "Rise up and walk," he was told, and then given a helping hand, lifted to his feet. It was at that moment he felt strength surge into his soul, empowering him to rise up.  He leaped up, full of life, praising the Almighty. Those around him witnessed the miraculous recovery. This is the power of love—love in action.

On my path to healing, it was the connections I made with others that empowered me to conquer the generational trauma I was born with.  These inherited wounds hindered me right from the starting gate of life. Among them were alcoholism, domestic abuse, sibling rivalry, sexual abuse, gluttony, a poverty mindset, jealousy, fear, bitterness, and broken family ties.

Trauma can express itself in many forms. The responses of fight, flight, fawn, and freeze are evident in many people's lives. The nervous system, intricate and complex, is the root cause of these responses. Consider the man at the Gate Beautiful—he seemed stuck in the freeze state. Yet, the attention of Peter and John, coupled with the power of divine love flowing through them, softened his heart and opened him to a new way of life.

The power of touch, attention, and connection heals the human being cut off from a healthy community. 

Are you, or someone you know, seeking a new path? A life empowered to overcome generational trauma? It IS possible! You might wonder how... I have a few tools that may help you thaw out and move forward!

John 10:10 NKJV

 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Here are some resources that may assist you in your own journey to the heart of the Father!

https://celebraterecovery.com/

https://www.aa.org/find-aa

https://adultchildren.org/

https://www.dianelangberg.com/

https://www.timfletcher.ca/