Sunday, January 4, 2026

The Soldiers Portion

 



The war began long ago in a distant land. A traitor ravaged the kingdom, stealing away many of the king's warriors. Betrayal left its marks on both those who remained loyal to their king and those who committed mutiny. 

No one escaped the treachery unscathed. 


The battle has raged across many generations. Many soldiers have lost both their lives and limbs fighting for their cause.


The conflict started over the throne—the right to reign and to rule. The rightful ruler was left with a mutiny on his hands and a throne to protect from those who chose to rebel. The Rightful Ruler's reputation was on the line; the whole of the universe watched the drama unfold. 


Kings and kingdoms came and went; man's treachery and betrayal mimicked the original Traitor and Betrayer, with his characteristics ingrained in fallen humanity, influenced by the unseen realm of demonic spirits of the fallen ones. 


Throughout history, soldiers have fought hard for their kings. Leaving their families behind, they followed their kings’ desires and commands. They marched to the beat of their kings' hearts, whether for good or evil, righteous or unholy. Good kings made sure their soldiers were provided for, sharing the spoils of war generously.  However, evil kings were narcissistic and uncaring, keeping the spoils of war for themselves. 


I have been pondering those who have fought the good fight of faith, those who have suffered greatly, those who have counted the cost and fought valiantly, giving their all for their king and kingdom. 


The prophets of old paid a heavy price for voicing the heart of the King of Kings, calling for repentance, for teshuvah, and returning to the ancient paths established by the Creator at the beginning of time. (Jeremiah 6.16)



Zachariah son of Jehoiada, was killed in the temple courtyard by order of King Joash (2nd Chronicles 24:20-22). Jeremiah was beaten, imprisoned, starved, and thrown into a cistern. Isaiah was sawn in two, Ezekiel murdered by an Israelite leader, Micah killed by King Joram, and Amos tortured and killed by Amaziah the priest. (Wikipedia)


Some well-known soldiers in history include Joshua, the commander of Israel's army; Joab, David's ruthless general; Uriah the Hittite, a loyal soldier to King David; and Gideon, who was considered the least in his father's house and the smallest of the tribes of Israel. Early followers of Yeshua who were soldiers paid a high price for their conversion and loyalty to Yeshua. They were often imprisoned, tortured, and executed. The apostles paid a very heavy price also for their devotion to their King. Peter was crucified upside down, Herod executed James, Paul was beheaded, others were beaten, imprisoned, exiled, their devotion to the Messiah cost them everything…


But, they gained everything…Eternal life as promised by The King! 


The bravery of women throughout the ages has also been documented. To be noted and emulated, here are a few well-known female soldiers of the cross:

Mary Magdeline, Mary, Yeshua’s mother, Salome, Joanna, Yael, Deborah, Lydia, Sarah, Hagar, Esther, Ruth, Hannah, Abigail, Phoebe, Priscilla, Junia, and the list goes on and on…


These people, both men and women, fought the good fight. They were faithful, loyal, brave, determined, and so very courageous. They faced giants, enemies of the cross, with their eyes fixed on the Crowned One, the Resurrection and the Life!


Joan of Arc was a young teenager who felt called to action by God, defying the social norms of her time. She paid a heavy price for answering that call, as she was eventually burned at the stake. 



Perpetua, known as “The Unbreakable Witness,” was a young noblewoman from Carthage who was imprisoned for refusing to renounce her faith in Christ. She was killed in the arena while her infant son watched. Perpetua faced death bravely and encouraged others to stand firm in their faith as they also faced their own deaths. 


Felicity, known as the “Warrior Mother,” was a pregnant slave who was imprisoned alongside Perpetua. She gave birth in prison and was martyred just days later in the arena. Agatha the Unconquered, a young woman in Sicily, was tortured for refusing a pagan official; she died from her wounds, but it is unknown what those wounds were from. The women of the Catacombs, unnamed but remembered in mosaics and inscriptions. The list is long.


 Each century has long lists of martyrs who died for the cause of Christ. They fought the good fight, and they finished the race. They believed His promises of eternal life without pain or sorrow.  He is a just judge. He will repay all the evil deeds done against His faithful children. 



I am eager to share the insights I have been receiving from the Ruach regarding the concept of a soldier's portion. The information is genuinely inspiring and holds significant meaning. I found the following paragraphs while seeking understanding. I hope the writer's words inspire not just me, but you, too, reader!


A “soldier’s portion” refers to the share, reward, or fate that belongs to a soldier, often highlighting the hardships, sacrifices, or risks of military life, including the risk of death. This phrase has historical roots in military literature and the Bible, consistently emphasizing the costs of being a soldier.


🔍 **Three Main Meanings of “A Soldier’s Portion”**


1. **The Hardships and Suffering Expected of a Soldier**

   Historically, a soldier’s “portion” includes:

   - Hard labor

   - Hunger or limited rations

   - Exposure to harsh weather

   - Risk of injury or death

   - Demands for obedience and sacrifice


   This meaning appears in writings from the Middle Ages through the 19th century.


2. **The Literal Ration or Allotment Given to a Soldier**

   This is the most concrete meaning of the term. A “soldier’s portion” can refer to:

   - Daily food rations

   - Pay or spoils of war

   - Equipment or supplies issued to soldiers


   This sense is reflected in the history of military rations, where each soldier received a specific allotment of food and goods.


3. **A Biblical or Spiritual Meaning: The Fate of the Warrior**

   In Scripture and Christian commentary, “a soldier’s portion” often symbolizes:

   - The destiny of a warrior

   - The judgment or reward assigned by God

   - The cost of engaging in a spiritual or physical battle


   For example, in 2 Samuel and Isaiah, warriors receive a “portion” based on their deeds, which can result in either blessing or destruction. This interpretation resonates intuitively with people, emphasizing the heavy and inevitable costs of being a fighter.

Brothers and sisters, I want to remind you that we are at war. This conflict surrounds us; it is unfolding on every front—air, food, water, entertainment, relationships, workplace settings, and in the medical and military industries. Even in our places of worship, we find ourselves in the midst of this struggle.


Each day, the path ahead grows narrower. As the enemy advances, the Ruach is unveiling what has been concealed for centuries—what our ancestors have fought against in every age and what those who came before us have battled.


We are faced with lies, deceptions, betrayals, and sabotages. Now more than ever, we need wisdom and discernment. The cost is high, our very lives. We, too, are soldiers fighting the good fight. Be encouraged, for the battle belongs to Him. He goes before us, and He is our rear guard as well. He sends His angels to engage in this battle alongside us. Like our predecessors who faced persecution at the stake, in the colosseums, and on battlefields, we too will be strong and courageous.





Hebrews 10-11 paraphrased  from  The Life Recovery Bible

Think back to the early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you stayed faithful, even when it led to greater suffering. At times, you faced public ridicule and were beaten, while at other times, you supported others experiencing the same hardships. You stood alongside those who were imprisoned, and even when everything you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy, knowing that better things awaited you that would last forever. 


Therefore, do not discard your confident trust in the Lord; remember the great rewards it brings you! What you need now is patient endurance so that you can continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.


Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will truly happen. It provides us with assurance about the things we cannot see. Through faith, the people of old earned a good reputation. By faith, Abel… by faith, Enoch… by faith, Noah… by faith, Abraham and Sarah… by faith, Jacob… by faith, Joseph… by faith, Moses… and by faith, the walls of Jericho came down. Rahab was saved; David, Gideon, Barak, Samson, Samuel, and all the prophets overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God promised them.

We, too, will have the soldiers portion…eternal life…in the King's kingdom, the spoils of war! For our King is a generous king~!


1 Corinthians 2:9 CJSB

No Eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no one's heart has imagined all the things that God has prepared for those who love Him.





Saturday, June 7, 2025

ECHOES THROUGH TIME

 


Slap! Right across my young, tender teenager's heart. “You are just like my mother,” his words cursed my very young soul. Condemned by my earthly father's vicious words, spoken out of his brokenness, stemming from those mother-father wounds he, too, suffered. 


Generational curses are real. My father inherited his mother’s anger and shame, alongside his father’s abandonment and rejection. In turn, I carried the burden of his mother’s alcoholism, promiscuity, anger, and shame—abandoning myself in the process. His disdain for his mother seeped into my innocent life, fostering a deep sense of self-loathing.


 Those violent words my father spoke over me in his anger still echo through me at times…



I longed for my father’s love and acceptance. I longed to belong somewhere, to be wanted, cherished. 






I searched in the arms of many men, much to my shame.  The numbing effect of the drugs and alcohol lowered the inhibitions, numbed the pain, and filled the hole in my soul...but it was only a temporary fix. Honestly, sometimes I did feel wanted, loved, and like I belonged, for a moment, a week, a month, a year, or a few years. Each attempt at filling that heart-hole was like a drop in a bucket as vast as an ocean. 






Fast forward from teen years to my fiftieth year of chasing after love…I suffered yet another broken attempt, this one more devastating. The accumulation of rejection, betrayal, and denial left me hopeless and suicidal. It was then that the Holy Spirit inspired me to cry out to the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob, asking Him where His real people were, the ones that kept His commandments, the ones that loved Him…and, what is the Hebrew meaning of Your word? What does Your word really say?


One day, as I was lamenting and crying out these exact words, I asked myself, Why am I asking about the Hebrew meaning of His word? I had no idea what I was praying. It was the Holy Spirit within me leading those cries…


I looked up the Hebrew meaning of scripture and found a man teaching the Torah…unpacking His word, using Hebrew language, culture, and context. He showed the flow of the Old Testament, the Prophets, and the New Testament…


The first time I heard this Torah teacher sing the Aaronic Blessing found in the book of Numbers, something deep in my soul broke. The first time I attended a Messianic Jewish Synagogue and heard the Rabbi sing the Aaronic blessing, I came undone. 


Aaronic Blessing… echoes through time of the Father's invitation back home. Home, belonging, acceptance, and love…


The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26



No more chasing after people, places, and things to fill the hole in my soul. Just as He met the woman at the well, He also met me through His Father’s blessings, leading me to His Ancient Paths…



Friday, May 30, 2025

Home Coming

HOME COMING




A new moon

A new month

A new season

A new perspective


To see, to hear, to walk

The Ancient Path

No, not new, but old, ancient, a lost way

But new

New to me, to you


 Lost Sheep of Israel


“Follow Me to My Father’s House

By way of the Ancient Paths

Follow Me to My Father’s Table

To My Father’s Heart

Leading to still waters, living waters

Full of mercy and grace

Flowing from My Father’s Throne Room

Back to the Garden

By the Ancient Paths

See, Oh Israel!

Hear, Oh Israel!

Walk, Oh Israel!

In My Footsteps

 On the Ancient Paths

Follow Me home

To our  Father's House….






Friday, February 21, 2025

The Gate to Beautiful





Witnessing lives being restored through the love and care of a safe, supportive community is truly one of the most beautiful aspects of the journey to recovery.


Acts 3 2-10

A Lame Man Healed

3 Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. 2 And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to [a]ask alms from those who entered the temple; 3 who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. 4 And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” 5 So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 Then Peter said, Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” 7 And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. 8 So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them—walking, leaping, and praising God. 9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God. 10 Then they knew that it was he who sat begging alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

Let’s explore the word lame. 

Strong's Lexicon

pisseach: Lame

Original Word: פִסֵּחַ
Part of Speech: Adjective
Transliteration: picceach
Pronunciation: pis-say'-akh
Phonetic Spelling: (pis-say'-akh)
Definition: Lame
Meaning: lame

Word Origin: From the root פָּסַח (pasach), meaning "to limp" or "to be lame."

Corresponding Greek / Hebrew Entries: - G5560 (chōlos): This Greek word is used in the New Testament to describe someone who is lame, similar to the Hebrew "pisseach." It appears in passages such as Matthew 11:5 and Acts 3:2.

Usage: The Hebrew word "pisseach" is used to describe someone who is physically lame or crippled, often referring to a person who has difficulty walking due to a physical impairment. It is used in the context of physical disability and is sometimes metaphorically applied to describe spiritual or moral deficiency.

Cultural and Historical Background: In ancient Israelite society, physical disabilities such as lameness were often seen as significant impediments to full participation in religious and social life. The Levitical laws, for instance, had specific regulations regarding those who were physically impaired, particularly concerning their roles in temple service (Leviticus 21:18). Despite these restrictions, the Hebrew Scriptures also emphasize God's compassion and care for the disabled, as seen in various prophetic and wisdom literature.

Born with a disability—could this be the result of generational trauma? At the Gate Beautiful, he sought alms, reaching out for help. He received attention from the disciples —not money, but genuine attention. "Rise up and walk," he was told, and then given a helping hand, lifted to his feet. It was at that moment he felt strength surge into his soul, empowering him to rise up.  He leaped up, full of life, praising the Almighty. Those around him witnessed the miraculous recovery. This is the power of love—love in action.


On my path to healing, it was the connections I made with others that empowered me to conquer the generational trauma I was born with.  These inherited wounds hindered me right from the starting gate of life. Among them were alcoholism, domestic abuse, sibling rivalry, sexual abuse, gluttony, a poverty mindset, jealousy, fear, bitterness, and broken family ties.

Trauma can express itself in many forms. The responses of fight, flight, fawn, and freeze are evident in many people's lives. The nervous system, intricate and complex, is the root cause of these responses. Consider the man at the Gate Beautiful—he seemed stuck in the freeze state. Yet, the attention of Peter and John, coupled with the power of divine love flowing through them, softened his heart and opened him to a new way of life.

The power of touch, attention, and connection heals the human being cut off from a healthy community. 

Are you, or someone you know, seeking a new path? A life empowered to overcome generational trauma? It IS possible! You might wonder how... I have a few tools that may help you thaw out and move forward!

John 10:10 NKJV

 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Here are some resources that may assist you in your own journey to the heart of the Father!